Thursday, July 2, 2009
♥ Hurt so bad ~
2nd day never talk to you again.
Everytime I saw you,
just like a sharp knife poking deeply inside my heart.
I always expected you'll come and talk to me.
I knew I messed up everything last time.
But now Im trying my best to work out everything.
We used to be so fine.
And everybody was so envious of us.
After school went opposite 7 eleven with Peijun again.
Bought some drink and a strawberry biscuit.
Me and Jun's fav junk food, Pocky Strawberry.
My mood was really really down.
I always stayed in school.
Never go huo dong because I think maybe I got chance to see you.
Even just a short time,
it's enough for me.
Came back that time,
I saw you and I was shocked.
You were carrying bag and I dont know where you're going?
When I saw you,
I feel like run to you and talk with you.
But I didnt. Wondering why I dont dare enough?
You walked pass me,
without saying anything and you just looked at me.
I feel like chasing you,
but dont know why I was standing there,
and watching you walked away.
Heart so pain. Hurt so bad.
You were all alone,
I think maybe you're going to KL central.
Went back school,
me and Peijun went upstair 6th floor.
I was walking around.
Especially your class.
We had a lot of memories there.
Before exam we used to study there.
We used to went to your class after school,
sitting on the floor telling secrets to each other.
We used to hugging each other without saying a thing.
We used sleeping on each other thigh.
You told me Im the one.
You told me I'm yours.
You're not going to let go me.
But what happened to us?
Everything seems to be so strange after recouple.
There a lot of memories there.
Almost every tue and thu I went there,
and missing those sweet moments we had.
Whenever I read something that touch me,
tears always fall on my keyboard.
Why the fuck I love you so much?
It pains me to say that.
I realized how much I need you in my life.
Am I single or taken?
Im not so sure.
Do you love me?
Yes, you told me you love me.
But why the fuck you doing all these to me?
And why I cant feel it.
But the facts is,
yes, Im still with you.
Since the thing happened everything changed.
I used to beg you you dont leave me.
Yes, you did, you left me.
But you asked for recouple again.
I was so happy and I thought everything is gonna be alright.
Since the day we recoupled,
I promised to myself,
Im gonna work hard for us.
And I wont let our relation have any scale.
This I promised you since the day you walked into my life.
I swear I really thought to let go of you.
I swear I really tried to give up.
But I just cant face the true that he's not mine anymore.
I tried so hard to tell myself,
ITS NOT WORTH
ITS NOT WORTH
But really sorry.
Sorry I failed.
I cant stop myself for loving him.
I cant stop myself for thinking about him,
every moment whenever what I did,
its reminding me of him,
ITS HURT SO BAD!
Tears were dropping while Im typing these.
My eyes hurt. Really hurt.
I dont want to be without you, seriously.
Sometimes I feel like telling you how's my feel.
And sometimes I hate you so much,
but I dont complain.
I afraid that you would walk away.
It's really hurt.
I just cant believe that I would love a guy,
til so 狼狈!
PAIN ~
I have no more energy to take all those pain.
I cant handle those pain anymore.
But I always tell myself I love you.
Everything is worth it.
Just need more time.
Yes, I always tell myself, I always console myself.
But my heart was so so so painful.
I really cant believe that I would hurt this much.
I love you. I really do.
01:45
