Monday, April 6, 2009
♥ I have my WORST RESULTS ever!!
I'm just came back from school now. Today I got my BAD RESULTS ever in my whole life. When I reached my aunt house, I was standing outside the corridor. I'm thinking how am I suppose to face my family. I got a lot of bad result today.
I don't dare to face them. So, I'm just stand outside the corridor for a few min, then I decide just go in act like nothing happen today. Seriously, my family's expectation damn high. While exam days, after came back from school they will ask me how's your exam? As usual. Then I'll automatic answer them, ermm.. ok la, easy job la, can get high marks de la and they were giving me a big happy face. Now I was so dissapointed on myself. I keep asking myself WHY WHY WHY?! This kind of results how can I accept it?! Science teacher told me before, if you don't study then think of your parents. At least study for them making them happy, study for them to make them feel like they are proud of their daughter or showing off to their friends how smart was their daughter. I knew that was their simple wish. But, I made them dissapointed and making the wish won't come true. Today, when I got my maths result, I thought at least I will pass this subject. Then my maths teacher was shouting said 20 marks above & below 40 marks. Their seat number were between 10-19. I was so scare and lying on ( the best countseller and the best secrets keeper ) Xin yi's arm who sat beside me today. When she shouted 16 ( my seat no ) I was starting to cry and she was hugging me tightly and telling me not to cry. 2nd semester get a better result. Wen Fang said for a person who didn't listen to class and always acting like a pig while teacher was teaching, the result was good enough for that person already. She keep making jokes but I'm still acting so emo in school today.
I blame myself for being so fucking stupid;
I blame myself for being for selfish;
I blame myself for getting low marks;
I blame myself in everything!!
I don't dare to face them. So, I'm just stand outside the corridor for a few min, then I decide just go in act like nothing happen today. Seriously, my family's expectation damn high. While exam days, after came back from school they will ask me how's your exam? As usual. Then I'll automatic answer them, ermm.. ok la, easy job la, can get high marks de la and they were giving me a big happy face. Now I was so dissapointed on myself. I keep asking myself WHY WHY WHY?! This kind of results how can I accept it?! Science teacher told me before, if you don't study then think of your parents. At least study for them making them happy, study for them to make them feel like they are proud of their daughter or showing off to their friends how smart was their daughter. I knew that was their simple wish. But, I made them dissapointed and making the wish won't come true. Today, when I got my maths result, I thought at least I will pass this subject. Then my maths teacher was shouting said 20 marks above & below 40 marks. Their seat number were between 10-19. I was so scare and lying on ( the best countseller and the best secrets keeper ) Xin yi's arm who sat beside me today. When she shouted 16 ( my seat no ) I was starting to cry and she was hugging me tightly and telling me not to cry. 2nd semester get a better result. Wen Fang said for a person who didn't listen to class and always acting like a pig while teacher was teaching, the result was good enough for that person already. She keep making jokes but I'm still acting so emo in school today.
HATE MYSELF ! FUCK ! I HAVE A REAL FUCKING BAD MOOD TODAY.
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Here was my FUCKING BAD RESULTS which I can hardly accept !!
Sejarah : 30/80
Maths : 35.5/100
Malay : 19/40
English : 29/40
Kemahiran hidup : 16/60
Science : 46/100
Physics : 23/100
Chinese : 35.5 /100
Geografi ( Malay ) : ?
Geography ( chinese ) : ?
History : ?
OH GOD !! IT REMINDED ME MY BAD RESULT! !
FUCK FUCK FUCK !!!!!!!!
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05:38
